I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. I was venting about the fact that I am frustrated in my business. I expressed how I wanted things to be different.
She took a deep breath and said… what you want is a diet. You want a quick fix. Creating a business, working on a business, and growing a business takes work. A lot of work. And sometimes, we don’t get the results we are looking for.
This got me thinking. We want to control G-d so badly. This is why, when we see a diet advertised and it says “lose 20 pounds in 20 days by following our method,” we almost immediately buy in.
Well this can be applied to any area of our lives, WE DON’T HAVE CONTROL. No matter how much we want to believe we do, WE DON’T. This reality hurts. It hurts really badly. When we feel out of control, we feel so uncomfortable.
Intuitive eating has helped me to accept this lack on control. You can eat everything “perfectly” and still not be a size 2. You can try to run your business according to every perfect business trick, and still not have a successful business. The only thing we control is our efforts. And the more we focus on efforts, the more efforts we put in.
The more we focus on results, the more frustration, pain and anxiety we feel. When we do our effort, and let go, we are liberated from the pain we are causing ourselves. This is called acceptance.
What are you not accepting in your life that is causing you so much pain?
I prayed and prayed and cried and prayed and with the help of G-d, I did get into an internship. A very good internship, Lehman College, in the Bronx. In my internship, I did various rotations in different fields of nutrition. I worked in a nursing home, I participated in a research study, I worked at WIC, G-d’s Love We Deliver, an assisted living and an out patient clinic. I traveled all around the five boroughs, and two nights a week I drove to the Bronx to attend classes to complete my Master’s degree in nutrition. This was all so intense, while raising a family and keeping my grades up, but I was fully committed. I finished my internship, passed by RD exam ( while being 9 months pregnant with my second child), and began to work in the field. I could finally sign my name “Gila Glassberg, RD.” It was literally the best feeling in the entire world. My first job was in a nursing home, and I loved it a first, until I realized that this is not why I set out to be a dietitian. I wanted to help people who had struggled with food and body image as I had years ago. This is where I began to vigorously research what type of jobs I could do with my RD. I honestly didn’t find much. Most of the jobs listed were clinical, in a hospital or nursing home. I didn’t think I would ever want to do private practice because I didn’t feel right putting people on weight loss programs, it just reminded me of the anxiety and shame I had felt when I was so calorically restricting myself in high school. This is when I stumbled upon Intuitive Eating. The funny thing is, is that I had never heard about Intuitive Eating during all my years of schooling. I actually went to meet with a women, her name is Perl Abramowitz, and she does parenting classes. I told her how I had such high hopes and dreams for being a dietitian but at this point I just felt unfulfilled at work. She told me about Rena Reiser, an Intuitive Eating Coach. I looked her up online and got in touch with her. She was so willing and eager to discuss and talk to me. I decided to start by reading the book Intuitive Eating. Once I read it, everything clicked.
So I began to learn about nutrition in any way, shape or form I could as a 16 year old. I was always the person looking at nutrition labels and exercising whenever I was able to. I went away to seminary and kept up with my healthy habits. When I got back from seminary, I when to community college for a few years, switch to queens college to finally pick my major, to become a “nutritionist.” What I found out than was that a nutritionist didn’t really mean anything, and the only real credentialed profession is something called a dietitian. The head of the dietetics department at queens colleges told me that the major is extremely challenging, requiring 79 credits just in nutrition ( which is basically a double major) and to get your RD, you must match in a dietetic internship where only 50% or applicants get in. Not to mention you also need 6 sciences ( biology, microbiology, chemistry, anatomy and physiology, organic chemistry, biochemistry)… I’m like ummmm… I barely passed high school, not sure I can manage this major. So I actually went for exercise science. What I didn’t realize was that was also pretty grueling and I would still not have proper credentials. I just decided after a few rough semesters of not even taking credits that I needed in the end, to switch into the dietetic program and pray with all my heart that I would get into an internship. School was soooooo hard and overwhelming. I got pregnant with my first child when I still had a year and a half to go with my undergrad. I loved learning all about nutrition, health, biochemistry (my favorite), how your body digests protein, carbs, fats, creb cycle (‘major nutrition nerd). I put my heart and soul into school because it was my biggest dream and passion to teach other people about eating healthy and still enjoying what they ate, unlike depriving themselves like I had done in high school. I spent weeks applying to different internship programs, researching schools, prices, masters programs, etc. I finally ranked my schools and sent in my application. Waiting those 6 weeks or so we’re the scariest weeks ever. I would think to myself over and over again “I’m not going to get in, all my studying and hard work was for nothing.” To be continued …
Soooo… here I am. Posting a blog post on my very own website. Here goes nothing. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I have wanted to be a dietitian since I was in 11th grade. Most of my friends in high school were extremely obsessive about dieting, weight loss and their bodies. I didn’t grow up in a house like this. I’m one of nine and I always say “my Mom didn’t have time to make sure we ate healthy, she just made sure we ate.” But when I got to high school, I quickly learned all the latest dieting and weight loss fads. I tried south beach first, and I lost weight and was proud of myself, only to find myself stuffing my face with pizza and Chinese food the second I let myself take one bite. “What is wrong with me,” I thought. “Why can’t I control myself.” After trying a few dietings and failing miserable, I decided I would just try to eat less. A lot less. Food rules took over my mind. No eating until 12:00pm and nothing goes into my body past 8:00pm. I was starving, irritable, and having trouble concentrating in school, but man did I lose weight. And you know what I got for it. A lot of praise and attention from EVERYONE! It was the best feeling to be honest. I felt so good about myself. It wasn’t until I went away on a trip with two friends in 11th grade that someone saw something wrong with my eating. My friends confronted me and I was able to see how unhealthy my behaviors and thoughts had become. However, now I was stuck. How do I eat healthy without being crazy OCD obsessive about what I’m eating??? So this led me to read about actual nutrition and health and from their my passion for nutrition only grew. I told people “I want to be a nutritionist when I get older” not knowing any “nutritionists” and never even hearing the term “dietitian” used. To be continued …